The timeout was set really low (it was 100ms, re-allocation of an old local connection). Setting it 4950ms it's still really slow, and still gives some Memory Block/Heap Item alerts. Scan times are avg 5ms, max 20ms.
I would say this site has the best internet connection of all my customers (service, speed, and hardware), but it's exponentially slower to connect to this PLC. It uses about 1/3 of the available program memory, and 1/10th of the documentation.
Also, this is not via a StrideLinx VPN like most of mine are, but OpenVPN connection on another router.