Sounds great. Won't happen any time soon though.
You actually explained the problem...Modbus IS a standard, and yet the addressing is different for everything. Until and unless every automation device conforms to a fixed standard...not just comm...but functions, features, instruction set, addressing, etc...it will remain virtually impossible to create one master comm and addressing specification that will work for all devices.
The automation market is simply too diverse, solving too many problems...process, scada, machine control, CNC, motion, drives, HMI, etc, etc...and yet far is smaller than the PC world...many small companies selling small volumes of specialized products...to expect universal plug and play.
You are correct in saying that Ethernet/IP is such an attempt...it is. And you should look at the spec sometime....it's 1000's of pages...insanely complex. By contrast, Modbus/TCP can be described in a few pages and implemented in a few days. Now if you are willing to pay a company significant money, you can buy toolkits to minimize the pain...but not eliminate it...and then comes the certification testing, also not free. And in the end, you still end up with many of the same issues that you describe...you just do.
In the new controller we are developing, we are making some significant changes to address the addressing problem (yes, pun intended). The pain you describe will be dramatically decreased. Will that eliminate the pain of connecting Vendor A to Vendor B? Sadly, no. But it will help.